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Dear Ivory....

I still can't believe that your gone. My heart hurts in more than one way. I'm sorry that you had to go through a selfish act of crime, hate, and pain. I'm sorry that u had to leave so early in this life. I just wanted to say thank you for smiling every time I saw you! I can recall the 1st time I met you, never met someone who was as big as you with a bigger heart! ;-) You always made sure I was okay, cuz I'm accident prone ;-) I truly appreciate that.... Your smile can warm up a room and I'm distraught that it has faded. I hope you believed in a higher power so that I may see you again one day. I will try my hardest to contribute in any way I can to eliminate violence in the world.... I just cant grip the fact that someone could detach their feelings and take a life... how can sleep at nite... Coping with this will not be an over night process. Please look after me, for i still don't know how this 'life' things works! lol I pray that you make your way into the hearts that took your life so they can surrender..... I pray that your family, friends, and Shaker Alum will find comfort, and I ultimately pray that you are at peace. We miss u like crazy, Ivory..... I miss u like crazy....

It wouldn't hurt if smiled on us every once in a while ;-)

Rest In Peace

I Love You

laziness is a mutha!

hello WORLD! so much i need to tell u but i MUST admit.... I've been hella LAZY!!! So many projects I wanna start..... but no ENERGY!!! lol let us pray that things will CHANGE!!!! Stay tuned!

starting all over

life is funny... it throws u more than just lemons these days.... 

But I've fallen off of my journey

So I'm starting all over again and taking a new route! 

I hope ur ready!!!!  

day 3....

Okay so today is really day 4 but I was so busy yesterday I forgot to post!but I did have something prepared... So we're gonna double up 2day, is that kool? Lol 

Day 3 (4/1/09)
Title: Starting all over Again

"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life."

I've been the victim

The suspect

And the witness, in my lifetime

Still trying to figure out if love is a crime

I wish I can leave my past behind...

But like my shadow it keeps following me

Danger! Danger! Danger! 

Is engraved  on my heart

Dedicated to the ones who tore it apart

Wounds have healed

But the scars still remain

Only a trustworthy God-fearing man can ease its pain

Am I in search for him?

No

He'll appear when he's ready 

Never rush a man who's heart is unsteady

Maybe he'll never appear 

Since my past is following me

A damaged heart hardly ever sees anything clear

So I'll just start all over again

And face my fears

...Hoping my past doesnt follow me

[Well...

Except for u...

U can stay in my past, present, and future! ;-)]

Day 2... Poetic Fast

Let's just say today was a very trying day....

Day 2

Title: Untitled (Please Come Back Soon)

My heart is broken

For I am certain

That I will never find you again

You are a figment of my imagination

And a mural in my memory

The thought of being without you is devastating

But like life itself

I must move on

But how could you leave?

You knew I was a fein for the poison you supplied

I’ve gone cold turkey from you for days

Weeks

Months

Years

I’m dying to relapse

But I can’t find you

I’ve searched high and low

Left and right

From bedsides to church pews

And still no trace of you

Without you I am lost

I need you, no matter the cost

 

Happiness, please come back

I miss you

I need you

I refuse to live without you

So if I have to wait

Then waiting for you is what I’ll have to do

In order to truly smile again.

So Please Come Back Soon…..

the poetic fast... Day 1

The journey of finding self-motivation and peace within has been a long weary travel. To get 'me' back in order I've decided to go back to my 1st love, writing. I've strayed away due to inner conflicts and will start expressing the random emotions that I've been storing away for over 2 years now... yes, I havent written anything in two years. And I refuse to cut off my creativity from now on!



So, for the next 40 days I will be joining my sisters in a poetic fast.... One poem a day!



A poem a day that will aid along in the journey of becoming a better me.



Join US!!!

The more the merrier! ;-)

Trust me it doesnt have to be perfect.... imperfections are a perfect display of art!

My thoughts will pretty much be all over the place, so dont be afraid to join!





So without further adieu, let's get this show on the road!!





Day 1



Title: Smile 4 me @ 4am

As this clean palette lights up my eyes,
I draw blanks,
All of my emotions are now frozen,
but the thought of u stays warm on my brain,
the thought of u next to me is like a dream that I would love to make reality,
but reality is that it will never happen,
we have indeed split into our different worlds that are ban from colliding with each other,
so the thought of having you play a major role in my life will only happen either in my dreams
or in my next lifetime,
I can still smell you,
and I still hear your voice in my head,
especially when you say … hellO….
Many are called,
few are chosen,
and only one has truly conquered my heart…
and yes that one would be you
I miss your smile,
how it eases my pain,
how it stops my world and put everything that has any ‘importance’ on pause,
your smile makes me appreciate the little things,
because if I could just see you everyday with that smile on your face,
then there is now way in hell I can have a bad day!
Even if we are in two different worlds can you jus smile if you’re reading this
and maybe I can feel it in my heart,
maybe if you can jus smile for me our 2 worlds can realize that they cannot live without one another.
I feel like these words are empty,
they don’t give the true reason for this piece
but I refuse to just simply tell you I miss you,
because those 3 little words goes so much deeper than that
and I cant find the words to tell you
But I do miss you, a lot.
I know that we are miles away,
and all I want is for you to be in my life,
no matter what the role is….

So can you just smile for me….
And maybe I can feel it in my heart…


************************************
Now its your turn!!

Luv-ya ;-D